Random Updates and Stuff I Miss

Thanksgiving 2010: Gorgeous, delicious turkey roasted to perfection by my awesome Bro In Law, Dan. As usual he and Beth were the perfect hosts and we brought along some sides. The highlight this year for my contribution was the cauliflower gratin but I'm sure the kids would say the Chex mix. Pam and Ro were also here and made it that much more special and fun. Poor Ro had emergency oral surgery the day before the biggest eating holiday of the year, but soldiered through and was as sweet as ever.

Blacktop Friday: This is what I call the Friday after Thanksgiving when you hit the road to visit family instead of hitting the stores. We travelled to Beaufort County and saw nearly all my extended fam and it was great. That, combined with an indoor pool at the hotel, well, for the kids it was some kind of nervana. We got to see their newest three-month-old cousin Josiah, at his smiley, bouncy best.

Monday after Thanksgiving: (I haven't thought of a catchy name for that one yet) We sort of came crashing down to reality. Everyone was kind of keyed up and couldn't get to sleep that night, especially Nate. He kept getting up and informing us of every bathroom trip, and every random little noise and finally he burst into sobs saying that he missed Grandpa, Uncle Dewey and Granny. He might've been just overtired but Good Lord my heart broke into a million pieces. Mark held him for a little while and told him we all missed them, and it was fine to cry about it sometimes. I rubbed his back and told him I knew how hard it was, but I promised things would look better in the morning. And, mercifully, they did.

What I miss: My dad carrying raw pecans this time of year in his pocket. I never really liked the taste of them raw myself, but I would still pick out a few when he cracked them for me. That was the most fascinating part, really. He would take two or three and crack them against eachother in his fist. I would try and try to crack them like that, but even into adulthood, I failed miserably. So, I would just hand them back to him and he would gladly oblige me.

Today I saw a fellow church member who lost her dad in early fall. I gave her a hug, and we commiserated on how kid-like, unprepared and orphaned losing a parent can make you feel, no matter how old you are. She was telling me about her little, unexpected "waves" of grief, how they always come without warning, just when things are going OK. She told me, "Yesterday I was out for a run in our neighborhood and passed some pecan trees--my dad used to carry pecans in his pocket. . ."
See, she's from the New Bern area so maybe it's a Down East Dad thing.

Those pecan-crackin' daddies were the best.

Ms. Tracy's Wild Ride

My friend Dawn recently told me that for her 50th birthday her husband took her for a helicopter ride. Apparently in an effort to trump her gift I managed to get myself a ride in the ambulance in the wee hours of Thursday morning. I think she wins.

Around 4:30 or 5 Thursday morning I woke up with a stabbing pain in my lower abdomen. I hopped up out of bed to check things out in the bathroom because I guess that's where one checks such things and the room started to go black. I remember calling out for Mark. The next thing I knew I was flat on my back and Mark was kneeling over me telling me the paramedics were on their way.

Damn.

I'd have given anything not to have the ambulance come to our house and haul me out in front of the kids, but given the pain and the sudden loss of consciousness, well, it was the right thing to do. I'm so glad he was there. I remember thinking how comfy I was on my pillow and thinking, "Wow, how did Mark get me back on the bed? He's so strong," and then I got a look at the blue plaid fabric and realized I was on Wally the Wonderdog's bed. At least I picked a soft place to land, huh?

Mark told the kids what was happening and assured them that I was awake and OK and I yelled out something to them so they knew it. The medics arrived and whisked me off to the ER as my blood pressure was pretty low and continued to drop a few points on the way. After all that drama and a lot of tests and an ultrasound, it turned out to be a ruptured ovarian cyst---nothing serious.

My mother-in-law had come to the house and treated the kids to breakfast before school. Mark called the school as soon as I was released to let the kids know I was on my way home and that I was fine. When they got home they threw down their bookbags, piled on the sofa next to me and told me how much they loved me for the next hour. It was weird, and wonderful. Then Anna Marie came by to play and they immediately forgot I existed and ran outside. Ah, back to normal.

So now we're back to discussing the important things in life: Halloween costumes and who has the best candy on our street. As for me, I'm done with the scary stuff for awhile!

Last weekend recap

Friday marked Olivia's first venture into wearing "real" earrings. She opted for these cool, colorful danglies.


A very poor photo of two very excited campers. This was the morning of drop-off at Chameleon's Journey, an overnight adventure camp sponsored by Hospice for kids who've suffered a loss.


Olivia hula-hooping at the drop-off/meet & greet. Homegirl can keep this up for about seven minutes straight. Amazing.




The view about 10 steps from the boys' cabin.


Olivia caught writing in her journal.


Nate chatting with a BFF he met within five minutes of arriving.


Thank you, Hospice. For everything.

Speaking of thanks. . .



We had to drop off the kids at an ungodly hour that morning, but I got up before anyone else and this lovely stuff was my breakfast, spread on top of an English muffin. It's my Aunt Sybil's pear preserves, and I was lucky enough to score a jar on my birthday the last time I visited. My Aunt Sybil is about 50 times more awesome than most people. She and my Uncle Bobby welcomed countless visitors into their home when my dad passed away back in August. She fed them, listened to their stories, entertained my children and smiled, all while quietly mourning her big brother.
Sometimes thank-you just isn't enough. But I plan to keep saying it, all the time.

This week. . .

1. The kids go to Chameleon's Journey camp, sponsored by Hospice. It's a one-night camp and we drop them off on Saturday. They're just a tad excited and have already packed everything on the packing list. It is now Wednesday.

2. Olivia gets to change earrings. She got her ears pierced on Labor Day and Friday marks the last day she has to wear her starter studs. Pics will follow.

3. Someone swiped my pudding cup out of the work fridge. Today, actually. I'm still a little bummed about it. I can't believe I supposedly work with grown-ups and yet someone around here couldn't see fit to buy their own dadgum pudding cup. Sheesh. I'm telling myself that someone else brought one today and must've got it confused with their own. Which means perhaps someone stole THEIR pudding cup. Oh, my. Should I call 9-1-1?

4. Our first parent-teacher conference with Nate's teacher is Thursday. He has been scribbling stories like a little fiend in order to improve his creative writing, so we'll see how this goes.

Scenes From a Sunday

Olivia sitting at my old childhood desk, which was fixed up by my Uncle Larry last Christmas. It's one of her favorite places to hang out.

Olivia's friend Mattie stayed over Saturday. They've been friends since Pre-K.

Nate tried to give the Panthers some extra mojo by wearing his Dad's old South Mecklenburg Sabers football helmet.

Reading my tea leaves at Zada Jane's. I see blueberry granola pancakes in my future.

Snapping Out of It, Slowly

I dug out my camera and after silently scolding myself for the thousandth time for not taking photos more regularly, I decided to upload a few from the summer. Summer 2010 was pretty good up until the moment it wasn't, and now it's October already so I figured I'd better save some pics for prosperity to prove it even happened!


Kiddos and Grandma at Maggiano's


This was actually in the spring, when I got to meet my idol, author Elizabeth Berg, at a Catawba College book signing.


A lazy Saturday moment.


Playing nicely MUST be documented.


On a visit to Washington, NC to visit family. Luke and Nate enjoying themselves, just a little. These two knuckleheads sure do love eachother.


My dad's house is being renovated by the new owner, and he's been kind enough to let me tour the place. Wish I had some before shots, but trust me--HUGE differences, and all for the better. It's going to be a beautiful home for someone again.


A visit with sweet Cousin Corinna from Atlanta. Olivia's first night in America was spent at her house, after she picked us up from the airport. They share a special bond.


Happy cousins Luke, Nate and Olivia on the boardwalk in Washington.


Liv holding Uncle Larry's camera. Off camera, her mommy is holding her breath.


My little mermaid.


Pretty pink Washington sunset.


Back home in Charlotte, Ethan and Nate share an Ipod moment.


Nate's seventh birthday on July 1 started out with chocolate chip waffles presented by his sister. . .


and ended with chocolate cake at Counter Burger. Not bad.


Here's Liv at tennis class last week, working on her serve.


That's it for now! Onward with 2010. It's getting better.

Random Notes

1. Feeling a little out of it today. As was the case with my mom, the intense part of my grief process was delayed. It's been about a little over a month and now the wave has really hit me. Crying into my pillow at night, the whole bit. I know I need to pick up the phone and call Hospice grief support but at the same time I know I need to just let myself feel it. I think the last five years are finally catching up with me. It seems that once I caught my breath over what happened to my mom, my dad's downward spiral started before I had a chance to look up. The unfairness of it all---the unfairness to my dad, my mom, my kids and myself makes me feel so unbelievably furious. And just sad. And utterly helpless.

2. Work is a killer right now; my boss is in the middle of a much-needed vacation and as usual, I have even more respect for what she does everyday now that she's gone.

3. Hopefully this weekend I'll get over myself and enjoy our neighborhood yard sale. The kids are jacked up about selling off some of their stuff to make some cash. I told them not to get too excited about the amount, because this is stuff that we were going to donate so anything we make will be a bonus. Olivia was rambling about buying a Barbie Dream House with her proceeds so I had to give her a little dose of reality. Sheesh.

4. We just had the floors in our downstairs den/play area redone and whoo boy, what a difference. We bit the bullet and went with hardwoods and I'm so glad we did. It warms the room and brightens it at the same time; makes coming home that much nicer.

5. Last night I made my Aunt Sybil's chicken casserole and we had my mother-in-law over. She loved it and of course I ate until I was miserable. That casserole just tastes like home to me---it made me miss my sweet aunts, uncles and cousins even more.

6. I'm torn between enjoying this "Indian Summer" and being so ready for fall I can't stand it.

7. More updates, long overdue photos from the summer and hopefully MUCH less whining will be coming soon.