Q: Should you ever buy a kid a child-size set of gardening tools that have real, working metal parts?
A: Why, NO! You shouldn't. Even if they're brightly colored and kid-like and looking sooo cute out in front of the hardware store. And your kids beg for them and even pitch in some of their own money for them.
Q: Can a child-size hoe, when being used by a 7-year-old to whack a wayward piece of bamboo in the backyard, actually make a dent in the bamboo?
A: No. Not a bit.
Q: Can that same hoe create a half-inch gash in a 5-year-old's head if said 5-year-old happens to be running by during the bamboo massacre, and falls down right in the path of the adorable child-size hoe?
A: Why yes. Yes it can.
Q: Exactly how much blood spouts from a half-inch gash in the fuzzy hairline of a 5-year-old child?
A: Approximately 89 gallons. It helps if he's wearing a mostly white t-shirt, too.
Q: What do you purchase a 5-year-old out of a hospital vending machine, after the ER doc has placed two tiny staples in his head?
A: Anything. He. Wants.