Sunday, November 11, 2007

The plague of the potty-mouths

I think every parent I know (except maybe Pastor Trevor) has a story or many, many stories about how their child once blurted out a curse word at the most inappropriate moment.

It usually turns into one of those I'd-kill-you-if-this-weren't-so-GD-funny times.

We've had one particularly horrifying/hilarious gem lately, and I wanted to jot it down before I forgot it. Also so I can return the torture to my children one day by telling the story to their prom date.

So we're in the van the other day, me at the wheel and the kids in the backseat in their boosters. Nate had two pieces of his Halloween candy clenched in his hands, so of course the moment I'm strapped in and backing out the driveway, he immediately drops them. This hasn't really occurred to me until now, but the kid pretty much verbalized what his mommy was thinking: "GodDAMMIT!"
Apparently, having your prized dumdum-pop and roll of Smarties plummet from your hands requires a choice selection from the sailor's handbook, in my four-year-old son's opinion.

I sort of froze, about to look up and deliver one of many Sermons From the Rearview Mirror, when Olivia held out her hand to stop me, as if to say she'd handle it. Then she turned to her brother and said, "No, Nate, remember we say GOSHdammit."

At least our mini war on Olivia saying "OMG" was working. There's just something so obnoxious about a little kid saying "God" in that way. The dammit part, well. . .obviously we're a work in progress at Casa Pellin.

There was another, much sweeter Olivia-ism that took place a few months ago. I was chopping up an apple for the kids to munch on while I cooked dinner. Olivia came into the kitchen and asked if they could eat it before dinner. I said yes, that's what it's for. Then she yelled up the stairs, "Nate---come on down---Mommy made us an apple-tizer."

That girl.

Other random, impossibly cute, non-cursing things they say and do:

  • Nate has called our minister, Pastor Trevor , "Patrick Trevor" since he was about two. He really thinks that's his name.
  • Olivia recently told Nate's young, very pretty teacher "You smell just like my Grandma!" and she meant it as one of the highest compliments one can receive.
  • Nate refers to his Bobby, his ratty, much-loved lovie blanket, as a "him," a living being with thoughts and feelings. For example, Bobby cannot be left in the car overnight because he might get cold.
  • Olivia once told my dad, after he'd just gotten dressed after emerging from the bathroom in his boxer shorts, "Um, I'm glad you have a shirt on now, because before I could see your boobies and it was so disgusting." Just a side note, Dad---you look just fine. "Disgusting" was a new addition to the vocabulary at the time and absolutely had to be worked into every possible sentence.

That's all I can think of for now. Hopefully we'll have more moments like the ones above and fewer backseat swear-a-thons.

No comments: